Monday, September 26, 2016

Isn't it Awfully Nice to Have a Penis: How a Porn revolution is Japan's last best hope for a piece.

We're gonna go straight into the gutter and bulls-eye some sexy sexy Womp Rats in a T16. 

Links are relatively SFW but the Wikipedia page for the Kanamara Matsuri has photos of endless penis sculptures. So... there's that.

Some messed up but not surprising news out of Japan

There is obviously some sensationalism going on, but let's shake the dew of this lily anyway shall we?  Hikikomori is a bad thing, but the Japanese keep on using that word.  I do not think it means what they think it means.  You see, there's a literal meaning tied to it, meaning that you never leave the house, but at this point there's more to it.  There is another kind of Hikikomori, one lost soul in a big fish bowl... with lots of other fish there too but they don't really do anything.  Alone in the big city.  Simply put, people who go out and work for a living and do stuff, but don't really bother with human contact past a utilitarian function.

There is basically not enough banging going on in Japan.  In terms of causal factors, it may not be just because people are too uptight.  It's actually because of 1950's American Puritanism and the very strange "obscenity" laws that exist in Japan.  This has led to some weird portrayals of sex in both regular media, but also more importantly teh pr0nz.  Seriously, have you ever see Japanese porno?   It's all censored out isn't it.  That's because of laws that were put in place during the American Occupation.  Yeah, the geniuses running that decade thought it best that even 70 years later, no one should ever actually be able to see what the naughty bits do when you want to get laid.  So what happens?  Well besides the inevitable evolution of tentacle porn, it relies on over emphasized actions, fetish outfits, and for some reason no music what so ever (seriously, haw can you have happy naked time on video without a little bow-chick-a-wow-wow)?  I know music isn't something that is showing up in modern stuff, but that's a few generations ahead of what we're talking about.

Oh wait, did I say happy?  Forget that, because if you've ever seen Japanese porn you'd already know that it comes across as more of a portrayal of genuine torture rather than consensual humping. Seriously you never see someone having less fun during sexy time than a woman in a Japanese porn. Here is why that's a pretty bad thing;

We are in the internet age.  Women are gonna see it at some point.  They just are.  And if that's what they see, it's no wonder they're thinking "why the fuckshithell-hellshitfuck would I wanna do that?" or at least be like ...ew.  Not only does it come off giving the impression of being about as pleasant as getting cavities filled with no anesthetic, you can't even really see what's going on so your imagination is going to conjure up something that is the reason for what is portrayed as the obvious painful condition resulting from banging.  If you've never had sex before and your first time seeing it is in a video where a woman is literally crying through the entire experience, it's going to give the impression of something unpleasant.  Something has gotta change there.

Yeah, totally looks like she's having oh so much fun there.

Enter sex-positive porn directed by women ...and some dudes also. Seriously, live or animated, decent porn is going to change young attitudes towards sex and in turn, various relationships.  They're not gonna be deep though because, let's face it, nowhere in human civilization does there come a deep emotional understanding before the humping impulse, male or female, gay or straight, anything in between, when you're that age.  For everyone at that age, it's humpy time first, and "what's your favorite color?" later (don't tell me it's not, you're wrong, I said so, so there, infinity, nany-nany boo-boo).

Porn, no matter what you want to call it (awesome, obscene, bad influence, necessity), is still art.  Maybe bad art sure, but life doth still imitate it.  Think about your early sexy-time having.  Yeah sure it was probably a bit awkward, but what if all you had to go on before that was Japanese porn?  Yeah, it goes from awkward to horrific.  And it's not going to get any better unless obscenity laws are changed and they legalize the whole shebang sans mosaic censoring.  Soft, hard, hetero, gay, lezbot (no I actually mean lesbian robots, it's a thing, you can look it up) amateur, Inu Yasha and Kagome but like... both of them having a good time, it's not that hard to do.  And it's not wrong to do.  What, you think Inu Yasha and Kagome didn't want to just friggin get it the hell on even once?
Oh yeah, you know where this is goin'...

"But Dojinshi totally fills that need!" some non-Japanese otaku are saying at this point. Quiet, you. No it doesn't... How could it?  It's being made by the same sex starved idiot morons that have grown up in the sexually suppressed world of post-war Japan.  And even if it did, c'mon, Dojinshi?  How many regular Japanese women are going to keep that stuff around where they live let alone actually go to the kinds of places you have to in order to buy it (I'll give you a hint, it's somewhere between zero and who gives a shit percent of the population).  Besides Doujinshi is more part of the problem than a solution, since some stuff I've seen comes from sources that obviously have no idea what so ever how actual fucking works.

What Japan needs is a big fat shot in the arm of nice fun SEX... While like they say in Kinky Boots, "sex shouldn't be comfy" which is kinda true, it also shouldn't be unpleasant, so that needs to be dealt with.  And while people are into all kinds of stuff (yeah even you ladies, we know), there are general ideas and trends that you can use to put your best foot/boob forward.  And while we can say that most American pornography may portray things a bit unrealistically, it's because it is mostly the positive aspects that are enhanced for the audience that it works, you can just as easily amplify the worst parts about sexy time until it actually looks like something you'd prefer not to do in favor of stepping on thumbtacks with bare feet.  Seriously, it's not hard to make porn look like fun on at least a very basic level.  I think there are things about it that make it pretty easy to do that...

I'd say that the government should not only drop the obscenity laws that prevent even seeing sex parts, but also actually try to foster startups which produce material that will appeal to a wide audience between the genders.  The problem is, that's probably about as likely as the Saudi Royal Family opening up a Dinosaur BBQ Pulled Pork Palace right in the middle of Riyadh.  The powers that be in Japan seem to have a major problem with a certain part of the female anatomy.  Whether it comes from a long tradition of just not liking "icky" things or a stuffy prudishness which somehow almost all old people on earth seem to have, there's one part of this equation that they don't like even admitting that it exists, let alone somehow allowing anything glorifying it.  Even though it's an important thing to have around, especially when they keep talking about a dangerously low birthrate.

Not wireless headphones.

Not only weeps the crow, but also weeps the popinjay.  Enter long suffering artist and activist Megumi Igarashi, AKA Rokudenashiko ...come on you know I couldn't cover this subject without bringing her up.  She was put under government scrutiny for simply cartooning a vagina in a published work, and then arrested for paddling a kayak with the opening 3D printed in the shape of her own hoo-ha which should have obviously been seen as not a pornographic representation of anything, just weird art.  She might have a good idea, or she might just be some weirdo, but the mere fact that she got arrested sends a clear message of pure hostility regarding nudity in any form as something that will not be tolerated.  And like I said here already, that leads to people thinking poking at a woman randomly through soaking wet white underwear is somehow sexy, enjoyable, or fun for anybody.

This official stance of what seems like hating sex and beating it like the Fratelli Brothers beat Sloth tied to a chair in the basement has turned the mere concept of it into something that people are now simply finding unappetizing, and who can blame them?  In Japan there are several festivals that are all about giant dicks everywhere but a Vagina kayak will get you jail time?   What does that even mean?  This ridiculousness is a symptom of governments around the world and Japan is no exception; of knowing the solution to the problem, and simply refusing to do it because... reasons.  Until people in government don't just nervously dip their toes in the water of true gender equality, but actually just jump in feet-first, this is only going to be one of the reasons that Japan continues to evolve into something that's too weird for its own good.

This kind of thing is dumb. It will always will be dumb.

Social aspects play another major role and we haven't covered them as they apply to porn.  It's almost as if they're made to punish the women to participate in it simply for being involved.  They can come from marginalized groups like Burakumin and if you did a study, you'd probably find a higher percentage of that group than average doing the porn thing (actually I'll bet there's already a study out there but I'm not going to go looking for it, this is long enough as it is).  So there's that working against the acceptance of pron as well.

This is not even about birthrates (again, something I've talked about before ...8 years ago).  Having children is a whole separate issue, and until Japan falls out of love with Tokyo and actually starts developing areas by economic sectors, none of this younger generation is going to find that prospect appealing, since housing, commuting, and employment (or lack thereof), all make child rearing seemingly inaccessible.

Maybe another branch of government will be able to help.

I've just been informed that womp rats are in no way sexy at all.
Good night, good luck, and おまんこございます.


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