May 2017 Recap

Kyoto State of Mind.
In case you missed it, Crunchyroll is streaming The Eccentric Family (Uchōten Kazoku) season 2.  They actually started doing this in April, but it's still a slow release so you haven't missed much.  There's something about this series that anyone who has lived in/near Kyoto is going to get all squee-squee nostalgic about.  Ditching class to just hang out around the shrines and parks around Kyoto creates a special feeling that just stays with you.  The Eccentric Family does quite a nice job capturing the Kyoto city-scape and overall vibe.

Some artistic license does in fact, take place.

If you haven't seen it at all, The Eccentric Family is a well made series that incorporates elements of Japanese mythology with the inter-personal politics and foibles of everyday life.  The characters have interesting faults and while not being completely free of trope-tastic deus ex machina plot navigation at times, it folds it in nicely and doesn't make investing your time in the series a painful experience.  So if you haven't yet, go on over to Crunchyroll and give it a look-see.


Anime-Style Novel Contest in Japan Bans Alternate Reality Stories and Teen Protagonists
I am ok with this.  You know why?  Because if they didn't then 90% of the entries would be that same shit.  Yes, Alck-Metal-Fullamist was great (the first time around), but we don't need to hear a million stories about how in a world where they wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people, a 16 year old born without a left ass-cheek saves an entire planet of vaguely middle eastern weirdos with purple hair from magic-hitler.  Come up with something a bit more appealing to a broader audience.

 Full story here.

Remember when I wrote that thing about AMVs and it got everyone in a tizzy?  Of course you don't, fresh', it was 2011 and you were taking the SATs.  But what I did mention was how agonizing it was when certain trends become too prolific, and there was an unhealthy saturation of AMVs using the same Linkin Park song(s) to either Evangelion or that new Vampire Hunter D that came out at the time.  So, so, so many of those were standing between the audience and the actual good AMVs that it was just painful.  Such is the case here and now with writing.  It is the same shit over and over and over just with different hair colors and number of "senpai notice me!" moments.  If outside force is required to avoid that, then it should be applied.

Stories that can appeal to high-school aged consumers don't have to have any high school characters in them in order to have said appeal.  Furthermore, by not pigeon-holing the type of narrative, there are now other segments of the audience that can be potential consumers as well.  We can come back to Dragon Maid for this one because back in January I mentioned exactly that.  Dragon Maid is popular with the high school crowd, but it's about a fully functioning adult protagonist (and a dragon).  Someone well out of school, with a job, living on their own.  This means that people in that situation can relate to the story and characters as well, not just students who have that part of their lives to look forward to.  It's why it spans so many different segments out there.

Also... Boobies.

Being a writer means being part of an industry.  It's a business.  And as a business, you can't do it by writing what you want, you have to write what they want. In this case "they" being any potential customers willing to pay money to purchase said writings in whatever format.  When that matches up, then hey, good for you.  When it doesn't, suck it up and deal with it if you want to keep doing this.


AMAZON Japan to Buck Long Standing Tradition and Deal Directly with Publishers.
Amazon Japan has recently loosened its Wal-Mart like iron fist contract terms with distributors in terms of demanding the lowest price, thanks to some prodding/investigation by Japan's FTC.  Dropping the most favored nation clause, as it's called, means that Amazon can no longer make it a rule that every vendor must offer Amazon a lower price than any other e-commerce site they also sell to.  It is perhaps to offset this new dent in earnings forecasts that Amazon Japan is now pursuing a direct distribution strategy with Japanese publishing companies, rather than use 3rd party partners/vendors such as Nippon Shuppan Hanbai Inc.  With plans to order what are sure to be bestsellers straight from publishers, this will allow them to earn more while adhering to the SRP/Cover Price, or discounting it, or whatever it is they do; I don't know - I don't work there.

Look upon your doom, bitches.

Japanese industry and business culture has always loved a middle man.  So much so that there are giant companies in Japan providing middle-man services that have no market what so ever in countries like the United States or EU.  Take Creek & River Co. Ltd. for example, a placement agency for freelance creative people and studios, which places the freelancers at temp jobs with very large companies. It's basically a big Rolodex of freelancers with subscription fee.  In Japan, this is great because socially it's just unheard of to try and "cold contact" someone for something without a formal introduction by a mutually known party.  In the USA, all Procter and Gamble has to do is post something on a website and BANG, everyone with a BA in graphic design is firing their folios at them that they'll be able to pick someone in 24 hours.  C&Rs first foray into the U.S. market was mostly a disaster.

So Amazon is bring that "what do we need you for?" mentality to its Japanese operation, and it will probably be successful. Despite many aspects of Japanese society being in the technological dark ages (ATMs have "closed hours" and major entities still use fax machines a lot), people buying stuff online is widely accepted because another thing that's super popular in Japan is getting stuff delivered.



We know where you live!

Due to its serialized nature, manga will most likely be affected as much as other mediums such as novels and academic texts.  Rather the terms at which Amazon can offer e-reader versions of manga will have a far greater impact on how the market develops, and now that they will be dealing with large publishing companies, the pendulum may be able to swing in their favor.  We might see some very rapid manga releases as publishers hand off the legwork, and more importantly, the overhead cost of translation and distribution in non-Japanese markets to Amazon. 


Japan and ASEAN Release Joint Action Plan at the Intellectual Property Offices Symposium 2017, in Kanazawa.
The Seventh ASEAN-Japan Heads of Intellectual Property Offices Meeting took place this month in Kanazawa, resulting in the joint ASEAN-Japan 2017-2018 Intellectual Property Action Plan.  Before you get all excited and wonder why Anime News Network didn't plug this in the feed, keep in mind this was made by ASEAN industry heads and the JPO (that's "Japan Patent Office" in case you were wondering).  Sorry to pour ice water on your boners, but no, fansub bootlegs and those pirated copies of Pokemon Sun & Moon that got you perma-banned from Ninendo Store and bricked your DS were not on the agenda.  This was almost all exclusively to do with patent law, proprietary manufacturing processes, and chemical formulas.  Also the entire detailed plan isn't available (or it is and I'm just bad at searching for it) but the joint statement, which consists of lip service and farts of well wishes, is online should you care to waste 93 seconds of your life reading it (.pdf file).   However there is also the analytical data from the manufacturing sector - it's pretty detailed.  Good luck, ya weebos.

This is totally what every patent attorney in Japan looks like, I am an expert.

 
But don't go back to checking on that torrent just yet, some things are going to come out of this.  Such as;

• Although not an ASEAN member, China is slowly being dragged in to these kind of agreements as such activity increases and pressure mounts to stay in the game. Bringing China along for the ride by 2025 is a major step in quelling the "wild west" type of environment when it comes to IP over there and that will include entertainment IP as well as technological. 
• New and streamlined avenues for prosecution of infringements may be able to (in the future) allow protection of entertainment IP as well, meaning ASEAN countries will be seen as stronger more viable markets for licensing rather than just write-offs to be ignored.   Except Vietnam; they'd probably still censor the crap out of everything.  
• This is further strengthened by the listed objective of enhancement of collaboration between IP enforcement agencies, which will undoubtedly also enforce IP regulations on things like consumer products, well known brands, and entertainment.

Interestingly enough, there is a separate conference to deal with IP in terms of industrial databases computer codes, and AI software.  It's called  Intellectual Property System Study Group for the Fourth Industrial Revolution.  With a title like that you know it's Japanese.



Wonder Woman: Gender-Segregated Screenings at Alamo Draft House.  ...oh here we go.
It's a thing that's happening.  As fun and or empowering as this seems to be, it also seems to be living on the border of "grey area" and "illegal" as well as in no way keeping with the actual spirit of gender equality (it's really the literal opposite).  Here in New York this may run afoul of some significant legal barriers, including Seidenberg v. McSorleys' Old Ale House (1970, United States District Court, Southern District, New York), which means having a liquor license comes with some very clear rules in terms of what you can and can't do regarding public accommodation.  Also what are they going to do about staff?  Is it going to be women only wait-staff?  Because if that is the case, the Department of Labor might take issue with Alamo also.

Yes, this stupid shit again.

I think my support for Wonder Woman as an IP (and an important one at that) has already been explicitly shown both here and here.  However, it is now tainted by the unfortunate social justice reaction which seems to be the same transparent and ridiculous strategy that was employed with the 2016 Ghostbusters.  Every single source of criticism of a business refusing to sell to members of the public because they are such-and-such a gender being instantly labeled as sexist, misogynist, white-nationalist (yes I actually saw that allegation out there regarding this mess) and then is just followed with screeching as loud as possible with no salient argument regarding favoring the exclusion of a specific gender from a licensed business.  I have seen some counterpoints which support doing these screenings, but I haven't seen a single one that seems to acknowledge what is actually happening.
1) Bars and clubs have "Ladies Nights"  or "Boy Nights" and that's legal.
Yes, because that's incentivization, not exclusion.  Specific groups, by gender in this case, are given incentives to patronize a business (which I still think is straight up sexist, but it's also so nebulous from a legal standpoint that it's not getting resolved any time soon that's for sure), but at no time can these businesses actually exclude admission to anyone based on gender during these or any other events.  That's kind of a game changer. Alamo isn't offering discounts or free food or anything else to women in general, they are simply saying "if you are gender such-and-such you will not be admitted/served" ...that's a very clear difference.
2) It's a non-profit fundraising event so they can do that. 
There's nothing that says something isn't subject to discrimination laws just because it's a non profit event or organization.  Hell, Otakon is an NPO, but do you think they'd be able to get away with having scheduled events for gender this one to the exclusion of gender that one?  The answer is no, they'd be breaking the law regarding public accommodation, and they really just shouldn't do it in principle.
3) But Alamo has classified these as private events, so they can exclude whoever they want. 
Can anyone come up to the box-office and buy a ticket if they are the gender that Alamo has decided to allow?  Yes?  Well then that's going to have a hard time meeting the definition of private event, we're back to public accommodation territory.
4) But what about Curves?  They are gender-exclusive and not getting in trouble so it must be ok!
Sorry slick, but you might be interested to know it is indeed the case that a number of states allow for exemptions to gender discrimination laws.  However it is limited to a specific type of business or entity, and almost always done on religious grounds (yes the original reason gyms and workout centers can gender segregate is because of religious demands).   It is also not the same in every state. Guess what kind of business is not on that list... yeah, there's that liquor license. So does not apply is pretty much how that one ends.  Probably.

See, I like Alamo Drafthouse, and if they get sued or fined, that's bad.  If they lose their license, that's bad also.  I don't want that.  So making sure that this won't bite them in the ass if a state agency gets involved or someone straight up sues is important for them if they don't want to be at risk for something that might shut the place down.

The problem now is that the go-to strategy of 3rd wave is now firmly in place, meaning anyone pointing out that A) this is an example of an entire segment of the population being excluded from public accommodation by a licensed business based exclusively on gender and that B) such a practice is potentially illegal, is now automatically labeled a sexist and misogynist in as loud a shouty-shout voice as can be made.  Woke ≠ Smart.  The bad part about this is that unlike Ghostbusters 2016, the ridiculous infusion of identity politics is going to tarnish what looks like a genuinely good movie this time, which is unfortunate.   I am fully thinking that Wonder Woman is going to be kick-ass.

Now I could be wrong about literally all of this, but until someone comes to me with a cogent, salient argument about the matter, rather than some white-knighting bullshit insult screaming and name calling, that's where I see things landing on this one.

Too sexist for the UN; But not sexist enough for the Box Office.
Makes all the sense you'd expect from people who do stuff like this.

Oh, by simply pointing this out I am now apparently, in addition to being a misogynist, sexist, and racist (somehow), I am also mansplaining... to literally anyone who reads this I guess? Can a man mansplain to another man?  Who fucking knows...


Bobby Moynihan Leaves Saturday Night Live.
Piece of Toast seen laughing maniacally - Garmanarnar inconsolable. In other news, Rick and Morty season 3 is set to air just in time for the 2020 US Presidential election. 

Your Plumbus is on back order, now shut the fuck up!

Yeah ok, they say it's going to air starting in July 2017, but any bunch of fucktards who pull "April Fools" jokes with their own TV series after the year 2004 are both, not to be believed and should be the subject of physical violence whenever possible. Seriously... I hope someone gets kicked in the nuts over this bullshit.


Jim Henson Exhibit to Open at Museum of the Moving Image July
The Museum of the Moving Image has announced that they will open a permanent version of a similar traveling exhibit form years earlier.  According to DNAinfo:

The Jim Henson Exhibition — a gallery of more than 300 objects from the famous puppeteer's career, including dozens of his best-loved puppets — will debut to visitors on July 22, the museum announced Wednesday.

The Museum of the Moving Image is located in Astoria Queens and is easily reached by Subway.


Holy Shit This Actually Happened.

Fucking seriously?  How can being "very uncomfortable" be not personal?.

I've never liked the type of worship of the military-class that started gaining momentum in the USA after it was obvious the wars Congress voted for were going to continue in perpetuity. "You give me special parking spots - my spouse is active duty!" "You don't get to criticize the military because they're fighting for YOUR freedom" (just not the 1st Amendment apparently) "blaaaarrrrggg!!!"  I really fucking hate that.  Did you join the military just so that others would have to kiss your ass?  No? Then stop acting like you're entitled to others kissing your ass.  If you look at the books that Terry Frei has written, you'll see he's really into the whole war and politics stuff as well as sports.

So apparently it seems like that kind of thinking was behind the comment of (former) Denver Post sports reporter Terry Frei, stating he was "uncomfortable" with Japanese Professional Driver Takuma Sato having won the Indi 500 on Memorial Day weekend.  Well, unless this schmuck said the same thing about the race in 2012, 2011, and 2010, when England won (you know, that country that had a giant Empire which tried to stop the USA from literally existing... twice), then it just shows that he's basing his comments on racism, not nationalism...  yeah, I'm gonna go with racism is kinda the worse one of those two.  I'd bet he wouldn't even have said the same thing if a German or Italian driver won this year.  I mean by this fucker's logic, you'd have to think the same "uncomfortable" thing if the race was won by a driver from; Japan, England, Mexico, Canada, Spain, Germany, Italy, Algeria, Turkey, Iraq, Vietnam, The Philippines, Austria, Romania, I guess North Korea too (and almost France that one time).  Something tells me this ass-face probably wouldn't do that.  Therefore his is indeed an ass-face.  ...fucking ass-face.

As an American who likes things Japanese, it's quite deflating to see things like this happen, and even more disheartening to know why they still happen.  Yeah, firing this shithead is a necessary move for the brand of the Denver Post, but the unfortunate part is, it's not going to change the way this fucker thinks in the slightest.  I don't even know if anything really can.

This kind of shit was already cartoonishly worn out in the 1980's.

People are on different sides of the issue; was it a correct decision by The Denver Post to fire this twerp?  Well yes I think it is, but I don't know if I myself would have done it if I were in charge, I'd really have to think about it.  The thing is, Terry Frei is an author and sports reporter for The Denver Post, and is making a public comment about sports.  Personal twitter account or not, keeping him on-board now damages The Denver Post's brand value significantly.  So from a public relations, marketing, and finance perspective, separating the brand from the entity that is Terry Frei is the correct decision.  This is the same kind of thing that happened with JonTron and PlayTonic.

Qualitative analysis can be an important part of corporate strategy as much as quantitative is.

Jan-Feb 2017 Recap and Leftovers

I can see clearly now... well not really but it's better.
So I've been having some eye procedures done.  In about 2006, my vision went from regular bad to borderline legally blind, and there was really not much to do about it until recently when some new technology was invented.  It isn't gonna fix anything but it will stabilize things to keep anything from getting worse and then maybe I can start wearing contact lenses (regular glasses don't fix what I have).  So being legally blind in one eye and having difficulty with the other, it's hard to read small print and impossible to drive at night.  The treatment I got leaves your vision blurry for a while, so that is why I haven't posted anything or been doing much keeping up with stuff. The effects have worn off and my vision having returned to what it was previously, I can get this going again, so lets see what's what.

I seeeeeeeee you

Nazi-Punching.
Mostly everyone knows the incident involving Richard Spencer at this point.  From Kotaku to to those busy-body hippie SJWs over at Cracked.com, everyone seems to be weighing in on this by asking the absolute wrong question:  "Is it ok to punch Nazis" "Is is right to punch Nazis" "Can we punch Nazis"   These are all the wrong questions, because terms like "ok" "right" and whatever the third question implies, all bring the matter of subjectivity to the situation.  Subjectivity in this matter means that if you ask 20 people you are going to get 20 different reasons for one of 2 answers. The question that should be asked is simple and explicit: "Is it legal to punch Nazis?" And in case you haven't guessed it, the answer is no, you can't just go up to someone and punch them even if they are espousing Nazism or something that is generally thought to be deplorable in ways both socially and morally.  Again, I think this is the 5th time I've had to bring up the Supreme Court case of National Socialists of America v Village of Skokie which affirms that equal protection under the law applies to everyone, even if they are supporting something you don't like. 

And what's not to like?

So yes, out in public, if Nazis are saying Nazi things in their little Nazi outfits, then physically assaulting them, or stealing their stuff, is indeed a crime.  No matter how deplorable the message of someone, it can not decriminalize your own actions.  Is it good to punch Nazis? Yeah.  Is it rewarding and a source of pride to punch Nazis?  Of course.  Is it legal?  ...no.  Lots of fun things aren't legal, so for better or worse their right to not get punched in the face legally supersedes your own butthurt. Deal with it. Like. An. Adult. For fucks sake. Very few people in the fandom seem to be approaching this with a true impartial logic based on American Case Law and Constitutional Values, but some have.  It's worth a read.  So is its sequel.




It's OK to be a grown adult and like Dragon Maid.
Dragon Maid is an anime.  It's what it sounds like, a dragon becomes a Maid (this is Japanese pop-culture "Maid" and not someone paid minimum wage to clean up your nasty ass hotel room after that conference you went to which had an open bar).  Now it sounds like a ridiculous premise, but our linchpin character in this series is a working adult.  No, not a high school student, no, not some magical girl from a different universe, and no, not some alien with superpowers.  She's a regular working stiff, like lots of other grown adults out there.  Yep, that's the game-changer.  If you're a grown adult and you watch a series about stuff happening to other grown adults, you might find it easy to relate to.

 

And....... you're hooked.

You might be saying to yourself, "yeah, but there's dragons and fantasy and other totally unrealistic things in there so how can you call yourself an adult and like it?" to which I would respond, "Is that Game of Thrones your talking about?" ...yeah, shut up.  Not for nothing but I'd feel better having Dragon Maid on in a room with children than Game of Thrones. 

HaHa.... boobs.

Disturbingly or not-so-disturbingly depending on your own personal feelings, this is a major reason why there are so many adult fans of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic.  Almost all the characters (especially the main characters) are very much adults.  They don't live with their parents, they are well out of school, they own their own businesses, they have employees, deadlines, some have the highest level of government security clearance, they go on diplomatic missions, one struggles with a clear case of schizophrenia, and one is a member of the military and also a member of the most elite flying squadron in the entire Air Force.  They are pretty much all late 20's if not older.  So people in their late 20's can relate to those characters. When combined with a well-written and technically well animated TV show, you've got something interesting, even if it did grow out of a terribly made 30 minute toy commercial from the 1980's.

Owns 3 boutiques, manages 10-20 employees, deals with a shady land lord, is a celebrity designer.
You don't do that when you're 13, you do it when you're 33.

There is no shortage of anime and manga made about and made for adults who work at companies, are home-makers, or creative professionals, but they often get overlooked for the traditionally popular genres of "ninjas" "mecca" "magical girl fill-in-the-blank-moon-card-captor-blah" "High School X" "my girlfriend is a vampire" or "boobs ...totally boobs"    ...that's a lot to deal with just there, so something about an overworked ad executive who finds a moment of Zen in a small park in Osaka one day during a sunset isn't gonna catch a lot of attention, but there are plenty of people who that would resonate with.  Enough to make it worth licensing?  No probably not.  But this segment does exist and it's only going to get bigger.

 HaHa.... boobs again.

That's fan-art by the way, not a scene from the actual show.


 Crunchyroll is having their own convention.
 Here: http://www.ign.com/articles/2017/02/09/crunchyroll-announces-its-own-anime-convention 
Slippery slope fellas.  It's sexy but not a money maker.  Get ready for some loss-leader deductions for 2017.  Also it's in California so ...meh.

Can't you just feel that excitement.

Annoying Prince Trumperdink.
So there's this thing where you are supposed to write postcards to The White House and address them to "President Steve Bannon" and Trump gets mad and stuff.  I have no idea if that's really what happens but as a committed troll I am so gonna do that.  DON'T use your good anime postcards.  #1) you will wish you had kept them.  #2 They are going to go straight into the shredder with an anime image on them, think for a minute junior.  What I am gonna do, is I am going to go to Columbus Circle and get some post cards that have Trump Tower on them... that way maybe he will actually want to see them then right?  Either way, I went down to my local US Post Office and bought a sheet of these stamps to use.  Hopefully the symbolism will get through.

Man the 90's sucked for American Comics.

Anyway, I don't think he's doing a good job as President.  So I am going to voice my concerns.  If anyone wants to know specifics then we can have it in the comments section.

I'll be wearing my Xmas gift while I write replies.

 
When Life Gives You Lemons
So I am continuing to have everything implode all around me and it's just about 100% of my own doing.  Sure there's the occasional unexpected thing breaking or bad weather messing something up, but the shitstorm of my life is pretty much my fault at this point.

You ever get one of those realization moments when you know you should just throw in the towel?  Mine came over Christmas, when I was hoping to get some alone time to shape up and do the warrior under the waterfall thing you always see and get my shit together (not an easy task but still had to try).  Instead I got a depressing talk in the woods in an entire situation I had actually convinced myself a few weeks prior I was going to be able to avoid.  I always play along but somewhere in the background I heard the game-ending buzzer go off and looking at the scoreboard I was way behind.  Did I feel the need to get some overtime and make things right and finally stop being so terrible?  Yes.  Was it enough to make me do anything?  No, clinical depression is kind of like a boat anchor that keeps you from doing anything for an irrational and indistinct fear you're just going to make it worse or just continue the parade of fail that has become your life.  Hell, my house could be on fire right now (from the lemons) and I probably wouldn't even bother getting up and leaving. I'd just take the batteries out of the smoke detectors so they would stop making that annoying sound.

It's not that I want to call it quits either.  But looking at the wall of insurmountable uncertainty, one can simply freeze in a mild panic which metastasizes into a process of thought which becomes as second-nature as breathing or blinking.  Then you just live there hoping for change from outward force, which never comes.

So for all of you people out there who don't like me, take solace in the fact that I am doing way worse than you and will probably stay that way.

Third time's the charm maybe...

Do you smell that?
Ramen is oft-maligned as cheap, un-creative, yuck-food that only college students and Naruto eat on a regular basis.   Sure some big cities have actual Ramen shops where you can get the real deal, but they tend to be crowded and more expensive than they should be.  To that end, I now give you a recipe that anyone can make anywhere in America that will rival the best corner dives of Tokyo.

 Om nom nom

How to make TanTanMen:
You will need:
1 brick of cheap-ass Maruchan or Nissin ramen (throw away that soup packet.  Never use the soup packet).
Ground Pork (cheat code; Ground turkey works fine, AND so does sliced roast beef from the deli if you want to save time, but if you use roast beef you still have to cook it all the way through in the pan until it gets all nice and shriveled).
Assorted veggies (whatever you want really.  Recommendations; show-peas, bean sprouts, thin sliced carrots... never broccoli).
Half an onion finely chopped.
Mashed garlic (boiling it before-hand makes it very easy to use.  Smooshes up just like toothpaste).
Worcestershire sauce
Soy Sauce (dark, like San-J Tamari)
Pepper flakes (pepperoncini like they have at the pizza place works just fine)
Oil (olive or sesame ...or whatever, just not 40weight)
Hot sauce (Louisiana red works great.  So does sriracha but that stuff can be expensive).
Beef bullion cube or beef broth
Mirin
Big bowl
Hot water

OK so oil up a frying pan and start cooking your meat, pepper flakes, and onion (leave out the garlic for now).  We will be intentionally over-cooking it so just make sure you don't burn things.  We are drying out the meat so it can absorb the flavorful soup base later.  At the same time put the brick of ramen in your bowl and start your kettle or boil some water.  Once it's boiling, pour it on top of the noodles and they'll soften up after a few minutes (they're already cooked, remember).
While the meat is cooking, add worcestershire and soy sauce.  Add a bit more than you think you need since we're going to make a soup out of this. 
Once the meat is dried out, add veggies (we don't want to overcook those), and garlic and mirin to taste.
Drain the ramen.
Pour the whole contents of the pan on top of the ramen and then add hot water, a third of the bullion cube, and hot sauce to spice it up.  Top w/ sriracha if you really like hot stuff.  Throw a shot of sake or vodka into the soup  and it will really help the flavor.
Eat the thing.

1 pan, a few minutes, and cheap eats that don't suck.

If you're looking to cut salt, ditch the hot-sauce for more dried pepper flakes and just use worcestershire, with a low-salt beef broth.
If you're looking to cut calories, leave out the ramen itself (I know, blasphemy), and replace it with shredded cabbage.  It's not the same, but it's nice and filling with way less carbs.
If you don't like spicy (I know, blasphemy), then swap out the pepper flakes for something like mushrooms or sweet potato or whatever, and use your favorite BBQ sauce, a teaspoon of molasses, and a shot of whiskey along with the water and soup stock (if you are using beef not pork, then use a shot of Tequila).  I've never tried that but it sounds like it would be pretty boss.

Next time I'll show you how to make your own teriyaki come out just like it does at the restaurants because you know you're doing it wrong.


Remember the Alamo
If you live near an Alamo Drafthouse, they are still celebrating the works of Hayao Miyazaki with cinematic screenings.  Most of the major hits are on the menu like Totoro, Sen/Spirited Away, Nausicaa, Mononoke, and I think some locations have Ponyo.  Conspicuously absent seems to be Porco Rosso for some reason. Keeping kosher I guess?

Don't worry, we still love ya you glorious fat bastard..

The Alamo Drafthouse is really movie-going as it ought to be.  And I will sure as hell be bringing my trusted cell jammer with extended battery life for the shows I have tickets to.  Seriously as I've said before, some people just don't know how to behave in public.  So you still have time in some places.  See it before your eyesight goes, it might happen faster than you think.

Cosplay Police Part Two, Cultural Appropriation Boogaloo

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If you would like to read Cosplay Police Part 1, click_here.  It is unrelated to this piece however, it has to do with the interplay of cosplay and copyright law.

The First Amendment is a Thing.

From the we saw this coming department, Halloween costumes were in the news again a while back.  In this particular instance however, what certain universities are doing may go beyond the standard knee-jerkery of regressivist reflexes of shouting like a 12 year old and holding their breath, and into actual legal mechanics which inevitably go all the way up to the Supreme Court of the United States and blah blah blah.

Enter Tufts University, which is a nice place I am sure, but they seem to have stepped into a legal grey area in terms of differentiating between University Policy and the Legal Rule of Law.  If you are unaware of what I am referring to, here is a link to the story from ABC news.   

One can take offense at literally anything.  The fact that I just wrote “One can take offense at literally anything” is offending someone right fucking now.  So it should come as no surprise that some costumes which rely heavily on the aspects of amplified or even insensitive caricaturism, can be perceived as both jingoist and racist (a lot of the time, people say “racist” when what they really mean is “jingoist”, because it has to do with a national identity and not a racial identity).  This is an indelible truth about Halloween costumes, some of them do deliberately evoke those feelings.  Is that a bad thing?  Well, it can be; why would you want to go out and deliberately belittle someone by making a mockery of them?  Oh, you didn’t know that’s what would happen?  Well maybe you’re just not woke as they say… Oh, you did know that and you’re doing it on purpose?  Then by the laws of the United States of America you are not forbidden to do that, so go for it if that’s what you wanna do, but don't expect not to get fired.   

 Nice one, Dov.

There are a significant number of Supreme Court cases which have shown that, in addition to spoken or written words, the ability to put on a costume, uniform, cloth marking (like an arm band to protest the Vietnam War) or face-paint, is something that has an absolute protection under the First Amendment of The United States.  They all cover what can be considered costumes, for any reason or occasion, which includes none at all.  So the legal standpoint is that you can put on whatever you want whenever you want with very few exceptions, and no, a college campus isn’t a place that can restrict that.  And yet Tufts University specifically mentioned that “offensive” costumes would be investigated by Campus Police.  You know what Campus Police are?  They are Police, fully sworn in and legally mandated members of a real police department.   Hence, they are subject to the same laws as any other police officers are.  That means Constitutional Law is something that they must adhere to (all be it unfortunately sometimes only retroactively when forced to by a judge).  So a “we don’t like what you’re wearing and you’re under arrest for it” argument is not something that will legally stand up, and conversly, there are quite a few legal legs to stand on for someone who should vest themselves in any outfit/costume what-so-ever. This puts them in the absolute zone of First Amendment protection:

Cohen v California

A case where it was decided that simply wearing an item with a slogan or symbol on it in public can not be considered Disturbing the Peace/Disorderly Conduct or incitement to violence.  So the argument that the slogan or symbol are "fighting words" or "fire in a theater" (which are not protected by the First Amendment) does not apply.

But now you’re saying “Hey, that case is just about some guy with Fuck The Draft written on a jacket during the Vietnam War back in the stone age.  The First Amendment can’t possibly extend to something so horrible like blackface or a Hitler costume!”  ...Oh, well you see it does, because:

National Socialist Party of America v. Village of Skokie

You don’t even have to know any legal history to have an idea what this one is.  Remember that part in Blues Brothers where those Nazi guys are on the bridge there?  Yep, that’s a reference to this real case.  The Supreme Court ruled that a group cannot be prevented by any government from marching or assembly, using images or slogans (including any and all clothing), or exercising their right to assemble, even if it pisses other people the hell off.  So Nazis get to march down the street whether you like it or not because even they are entitled to equal protection under the law.  You might be thinking “Oh, well they must have had a whole bunch of anti-Semitic white nationalist lawyers try every trick in the book for this to-“  Let me stop you right there.  It was a Jewish lawyer from the ACLU.  You know, the ACLU, that group famed for its right wing militancy apparently..? 

“Well, that’s not college campuses.  Campuses are different, they are a safe space!” you say as you grasp at the next straw.  …No.

Papish v Board of Curators of the University of Missouri, Tinker v. Des Moines Independent Community School District,  California Education Code § 94367 (aka "The California Leonard Law" upheld in Corry v. Stanford), Stromberg v. California (regarding “symbolic” freedom of speech).

Without going too much into it, it’s basically a wall of case law that says that anyone’s First Amendment rights don’t end just because you’re on a campus or in a school.

 

 

Overruled, dingus. 

 Oh, this is about Cosplay, isn't it?

So now that I just shoved all this in your face, you’re starting to wonder why you’re even still bothering to read this.  Well costumes aren’t just Halloween stuff.  They’re fandom stuff.  Conventions are so full of cosplayers that sometimes there are more people cosplaying than not.  Small conventions often happen on college campuses, and that is where these two converging forces are going to meet and quite possibly butt-heads.  People who feel that what they are as individuals, is somehow devalued by someone else who does not racially or ethnically resemble them engaging in dressing a certain way, may try to stop that activity via misuse of law, or even (as has been the case all too often) disruptive violence. 

These bubble-dwellers will not care if you’re cosplaying as a fictional character.  Even if that fictional character is pretty much a giant racist incarnation of every stereotype about that group when you go back and think about it.

Ever notice how Shampoo is pretty much only one step away from the ching chang chong level of Chinese caricature?

Which is both racist and jingoist if you think about it.

So would a White/Black/Hispanic/Indian/First-Nations person cosplaying as Shampoo be considered racist?  Would a Japanese person cosplaying as Shampoo be jingoism because Shampoo is Chinese not Japanese (not exactly a friendly history there between those two very different cultures).  Will SJWs come and attempt to physically cut off what people are wearing based on their own bruised sensitivities a la the legend of Bonita Tindle and the great dreadlocks war?  Well, the answer is that might happen, but it is also illegal (especially that last one).  As has been well established, any cosplayer is entitled to equal protection under the law, so assaulting them is a crime.  It's not excusable as some sort of cultural-appropriation self-defense, because with apologies from one Hubert Mungus, that’s not a thing.  For anyone to take things to such an extreme shows they clearly do not understand how the First Amendment and the related case law work at all, and also shows a further ignorance of how absolutely important it is in order to protect everyone in America from the violent extremism that is the inevitable result of having thought police, whether they are policing thoughts about sushi being cultural appropriation, or someone thinking you're using the wrong bathroom.

Apply these dynamics to the world of cosplay reductio ad absurdum, and you end up with the near incomprehensible entity that is The Anti Western Cosplay Movement.

Yes, this exists.

If you have a strong enough stomach to read this stuff, it will quickly become apparent that this is most likely just some dude/dudes who see any non-Asians cosplaying as boner-killer and then they get mad about it.  Even in my drunkiest of drunken blackouts I’ve written more coherent and better stuff than this (seriously, there are at least a few articles I’ve written with a BAC of “call 911” somewhere on here).  The word “Asian” is in there so much it makes me think that the guy is probably from Singapore or Hong Kong but wishes he were Japanese. And notice how the topic of people from India is not addressed at all.  Or maybe it is, I’m not going to spend too much time at the site.  But don’t worry, it addresses all the issues about why non-Asians shouldn’t ever cosplay as anime characters, even if that anime is Rose of Versailles where everyone is French, Vinland Saga where everyone is Nordic, or you’re someone who was gonna dress up as Guile from Street Fighter.  No non-Asians (that means no black people also but they don't say that one out loud).

 Pictured: Example of a typical "Asian" man... apparently.

However, on a conceptual level, The Anti Western Cosplay Movement is just the 50 yard line in the natural progression of injecting extremist SJW sensibilities into cosplay fandom.  Once you get into field goal range then begins the jingoism; a Japanese person can’t be Chun-li because she’s Chinese, a Malaysian can’t be Tenchi Masaki because he’s Japanese, and if you’re Vietnamese then you’re probably just shit out of luck.  What would the end-zone of such a progression even possibly look like?  Only a Trans person can cosplay as a Trans character and you're Transphobic if you think otherwise and believe anyone should be able to cosplay as any character they want to?   Who would want to still participate in that?

To return to an oblique politicality for a moment, this scenario comes from the fact that the concept of “cultural appropriation” itself, defacto reduces culture to the equivalent of a bowl of M&Ms.  Simply put, it’s the notion that if you take some then there are less for me, and they’re my M&Ms goddammit!  That’s not how culture works. It isn't tangible, it is not a finite resource. In assigning a needed tangible value to what could be called culture, it is actually devalued more effectively than any insensitive imitation, antithetical movement, or straight up racism ever could hope to accomplish. 

Cosplay should be a fun activity where people practice and improve their skills in embracing characters and concepts they enjoy.  In order to remain so (especially somewhere as diverse as The United States), it can not be shackled and dragged away by the soldiers of ideological authoritarianism.  We stand now at the edge of this slippery slope, and it is my hope that enough people see it for what it is in order to avoid it.  Cosplay needs to stay fun.

Nailed it!

Like OMG Stop saying SJW, THAT'S HATE SPEECH!

I caught a lot of flack for using “SJW” in its original definition back when I wrote about Wizard World and the efforts of self-described SJW Matt Santori-Griffith.  I received a torrent of all these angry messages and other stuff like “You’re a White nationalist and ALT-Right and should die!” and other stuff like “You MRA types are ruining fandom!” and of course the regular buckets of “Go Fuck Yourself” and “You’re a gun-nut.” Despite never having owned a gun in my life, I don’t think a fact like this would have stopped that comment though.  There was also something about Gamergate but I still really don't know what that is.  However, the worst messages I received were the occasional ones appearing to “support” notions of jingoism and xenophobia.  Stuff like “Don’t give in to the Lib-Tards” or “Something something WALL something TRUMP something something, isn’t it great?” (How the flying fuck has anything I’ve ever written on here related to the stupid Wall, Trump, or the GOP’s atrocious record on everything they do?)  It was cringeworthy to say the least.  But I definitely overreacted as well in an extreme manner.  I should have realized how intense I was getting but I didn’t until much later.  Don’t worry, I’ve stopped foaming at the mouth. 

Now, not knowing what MRA or the ALT-Right was at the time, I decided to go find out.  I really wish I hadn’t.  Such a toxic environment of which I completely regret scratching the surface, let alone actually digging into.  That place messed me up.  I now know who Milo Yanap… Yanapopple… Yaponial…  the guy with the hair is (and wish I could go back to not knowing, because then I could go back to not caring), and at least I was able to avoid Alex Jones because I actually remember from the 1990’s when he was out there flinging buckets of Grade-A crazy all around the place.  These people are quite antithetical to a lot of progressive values that I support.  However what was so stunning were the actions of their opponents, which all too often seemed to degenerate into physical violence in the name of… well nothing really, these people straight up are saying that since they don’t like the message that the others are saying it is their duty and somehow their right to physically stop them.  Yeah, that’s the same argument Bull Connor used when he thought the fire hoses were a great way to stop those pesky civil rights troublemakers (I know you're gonna have to look that up so here is some student's research project to go watch).  Not a good philosophy.  It always backfires and also is quite illegal, since things like assault, theft and destruction of property are rarely effectively justified for the reason of “I didn’t like the guy”.  

 Pictured: not reality.

So what does that mean about the use of SJW as a term?  Well, I don’t know when it happened or why people think that SJW is a broad term that covers all Progressives.  It’s kind of like the spectrum of

The Vegan at a BBQ:

Vegan A comes and brings some nice bean dip or nice fresh pico de gallo, and eats a bunch of vegan stuff, talks to other people about a variety of topics, enjoys a few tequila shooters and then goes home when it’s over.

A Moderate.  Think... Bernie Sanders

Vegan B comes and brings some nice bean dip, eats a bunch of vegan stuff, and talks to just about everyone…only about veganism.  They’ll tell them why they think it’s a good idea.  They’ll try to change your mind by espousing any positive aspect they can.  They are mildly annoying sometimes but they’re the one who brought the tequila so it’s ok.  If someone is even illegally processing animal products they’ll bring attention to it by exposing it in the news.

A Progressive.  Think... Amy Goodman

Vegan C You know they’re on their way in because you can hear them before they’re even in the yard.  Just the smell of anything non-vegan to them is a direct physical assault on their vegan-ness and now they are going to make sure NO ONE shall dare do something outside their strict philosophy.  So before you even start wondering what that’s about; they’ve kicked over the grill and thrown all the cheese in the river.  They will steal all the leftover meat including what's been kicked to the ground, and bury it in the back yard with a full funeral.  After that’s done they’re going to spend plenty of time pontificating on how eating a cheese burger makes you worse than Josef Mengele, and then storm off before anyone can even come up with a counterpoint (but they’ll try to break everyone’s camera because they know they just committed property damage and criminal mischief or assault and don’t want evidence of it anywhere).  Then you just finish off the tequila right there.

That’s the SJW.   Think... ...how about this nutjob;

 Yes, this exists.

These are extremists, who disregard the Constitutional Rights of others whenever it suites them, and are willing to engage in violence to suppress what they consider unacceptable thought, whatever it may be.  When you go around smashing cameras and microphones of people who have a platform contrary to your own, you are no better than that riot cop who goes into the crowd of Civil Rights protestors and yanks the American Flags out of the children’s hands in Mississippi Burning (it’s in the trailer).   

If you’re still not sold on this way of characterizing things (maybe like Clarissa from AWO who is also not reading this anyway because she hates me now), then take a look at the trailer for East Side Sushi.  

…what exactly is going on here?  Gender inequity?  Cultural Appropriation?  Meat eating and cruelty to animals?  Mexican sushi?  It gets hard to rationalize when your mirrors of self-confirmation and cognitive dissonance end up facing each other.