Tokyo food and the eating thereof

As I sat at home in New York chomping on my New Year's foie gras, I never thought I'd be making a post like this so soon.

Basic Food & Drink Tips in Tokyo.

Don't eat convenience store food or KFC, McD's, MosBurger etc, more than once. It's crap. No matter where in the world you go, a plastic wrapped sandwiched with the crust cup off and pre-packaged microwaved burrito/hot dog/gyudon is not what you want to be eating. Would you do that at home? Then don't do it here. There's a universe of great cooking in Japan no matter whare you are.

Stay out of chain resturants, whether they be Japanese or international chains. They suck in your country and they suck here. You didnt come to Japan to have dinner at Outback for fucks sake. Don't worry about the menu or anything, resturants are businesses and they want customers because they enjoy ...what's that thing that businesses do.... oh yeah making money. Most places won't care if you come in and are clumsy with the menu (as long as they're not being slammed with a huge crowd at the time). Learning Kana, Katakana, (and the numbers 1-10 in kanji helps though. If you're not retarded, it should take you a week of 1-2 hours of study per day to nail it down to almost second nature). There is one exception: in Shinjuku, there is a Krispy Kream. It is awesome.

Many but not all resturants close in the middle of the day between lunch and dinner. This is less true in tourist heavy areas, but then again tourist heavy areas tend to have crappy tourist traps that overcharge you for a plate of sushi or bowl of udon with lemongrass in it. Plan for this, it's worth the wait.

Look for uniforms. No, not on the staff, on the customers. Real food is only eaten by real people, and nothing says real people in Japan more than a uniform. Postal, Utility co, Construction, it doesn't matter. If there are uniforms at the tables, the food is gonna be good.

Izakaya. Americans; ever go to a run of the mill diner and know what you want to order before you even see a menu? That's because most diners serve faire so similar, that it's almost a universally known menu to most people who know them. In Japan, this is the Izakaya. With a few reional specialties, most of these places have the same type of menu. You can be confident that even if you can't read a word of the offerings, that if you know the basics and know what you want, they'll bring it to you. If you live in/near New York City, there are a few Izakaya type places that you can practice this with (one of the more popular being called "Kenka" on St. Mark's place). Keep in mind that much like with diners and lunch counters, people don't go to these dives for the "ambeeaance."

Vocabulary. Learn these words: Muryou; Free. Tabe Hou-dai; all you can eat. Nomi Hou-dai; all you can drink (yes they mean booze, though you usually need a group of 4-5 or more), Margarita: ok, don't go into a place looking for a Margarita, because they'll probably end up bringing you a Margarita, so if you want a Margarita and not a Margarita, make sure you specify that you want a Margarita and not a Margarita.

Hooch:
Beer; Although beer out of a vending machine is a wacky novelty to just about everyone else in the world, only to this once if you have to just for the sake of doing it. Vending machine beer is going to taste exactly how you think it is going to (that's Stella-skunky by the way). And the machines are almost gone now too, the only ones that exist are now in private buildings which have limitations on who can enter. Also Japanese beer only recently figured out that there are actualy types of beer out there other than pilsner/light lager (aka McBeer). There are actually some interesting dark porters coming out of Yebisu right now, and most resturants have embraced the American Black&Tan which is a layered pint of half Stout and half Light Lager (or Pale Ale), which in Japan is called a "Half & Half." (FYI don't ever order this drink in Ireland or you're likely to get punched in the face, since Black & Tan means something totaly different there). So for beer in Japan, expect the German style to proliferate, and only drink where they have "nama" which means draught. Also, don't think you can guage Japanese beer from outside Japan, since it is brewed locally wherever you are (for example, in the USA Kirin is made in California and upstate New York, Sapporo is made in Ontario Canada, and Asahi is also made domestically except for those half liter cans). Finally, in Tokyo the concept of a "pint" is nonexistand, but in Osaka it's standard (I told you Osaka was better). If I lost you at "pilsner" then you're not a beer drinker anyway.

Wine; With apoliogies to the French and Itaians, this is very much a luxury item. Many establishments which offer wine (there are a lot in Tokyo) much like the USA offer it by the glass, for what seems like a very good price. However that's actually bullshit. When I ordered a glass of Dolcetto D'Alba for what I thought was a good price of 600 yen, I was more than a bit dissapointed when I was brought a massive Bordeaux glass with about 2.5 ounces of wine in it (that's just a tiny bit more than amount you'd pour for a simple free tasting). This concept was hammered in whin I went to the basement of the local department store where they sell the sake, and saw a bottle of Sutter Home cabernet from 2005 selling for 35,000 yen (that's over $35). Even the Australian lables aren't as cheap here as they are in the U.S., and don't even ask how much the Chateu Nuf de Pap was selling for. If I lost you at Dolcetto D'Alba, then you're not a wine drinker ainyway.

Sake; Called Nihon-shuu, it has unfortunately fell a bit out of favor with it's own domestic market. This is the best bang for the buck in these parts. Unlike the paint stripper known as Sho-chu, Japanese sake is very mellow and has as much of a spectrum as Europien stye beer or wine. There are full bodied dry ones that could almost be described as tannic (Dai Ginjou), there are fragrent fruity ones which go well with almost anything from sushi to icecream. There are dessert sakes, bitter sakes, and seasonal sakes. There are even aged sakes (which may not really be a great idea, but hey... whatever). Things like terroir and climate play a heavy role in the final product. Add to that the fact that about half a gallon costs about US $20, and it's mana from heaven. If I lost you at Dai Ginjou, then get out there and learn you some about this art form. A good and reasonable priced U.S. Domestic brand is called Momokawa (Peach River) from Oregon. For imports, look to Tenzan, Akita Homare, and NamaHage (mention Shirayuki, Gekkeikan, or Kurosawa, in my presence and I will punch you in the face).

Then there's this place...

-

Guess Where I Am Right Now

Now that I am here apartment hunting in Tokyo, I am not keeping totally up to date with anime business news, so please enjoy this filler arc filled with cultural observations and such.

Incorrect assumptions about Japan and Tokyo that media around the world have made, and their debunking:

1) Internet access is so fast and proliferated here! (Washington Post). I read this somewhere on a list of countries with internet access and all that. It’s also more expensive and not as "proliferated" as you'd think. Actually, it's total bullcrap and most of Tokyo internet access is still via mobile phone or crappy DSL or even dialup. And I was hoping for that gig per second hookup that apparently only happens in university labs (the article didn’t mention that).Don’t believe me? Come here and do what I’m doing.

2) Tokyo is restaurant capital of the world (Some French Idiots). No. No it is not. I am from the real restaurant capital of the world and the Michelin franc-tards that came up with this crap are about as connected to reality as North Korean schoolchildren. Remember, these are classist wine snobs who never ever pay for a single meal they eat and consume fewer calories per day than a neurotic Parisian runway-model walking monument to eating disorders. Their findings don’t apply to the “little people” who actually have to think about how much a dinner out might cost and feed a family or even just a girlfriend. Actual international cuisine in Tokyo is either prohibitively expensive, or some Japanese interpretation of a culinary tradition they really know nothing about because they don’t actually have the ethnic diversity to proliferate a real international food culture.

3) Tokyo is full of weirdoes and you’re a foreigner and you’ll never have a nice time unless you hang out with other gaijin foriegners (Lost in Translation). Where do I start? This is a terrible movie made by terrible film makers and is nothing but some sort of personal ego stroking from some crappy personal experience. The only way you’re going to have a miserable time is if you’re miserable already, and that means you’re in for a miserable time no matter where you go. Right Sophia?

4) You can just show up and get a job and apartment someplace just like you could in some minor town in the USA. (As portrayed in Mega Tokyo). The thing I can’t stand about Mega Tokyo is the absolute lack of any kind of real knowledge about Japan that that idiot Gallagher has. The amount of paperwork, permits, and all kinds of other stuff you need to get one of the few types of visas that legally let you work any kind of job and get an apartment is both annoying, and surprisingly involving. Also, this is TOKYO, not some podunk town you're used to, it's the most expensive city in the world to live in and it would be like you and your 19 year old ass showing up in London or New York and landing an awesome job and apartment in the city just like that poof. And guess what, discrimination is TOTALLY LEGAL, so businesses and landlords can flat out refuse to deal with you simply because you are not Japanese and there's nothing you can do about it. You can't just show up and expect things to work out., There is plenty of information out there already about this so that’s that.

5) Tokyo is the place to be and it’s so cool and all that (Tokyo Metropolitan Government). Maybe I am biased, but the truth is, Osaka’s better. That’s just the way it is.

6) Beer in Vending Machines (you heard that from me in an earlier post). This used to be very true, but since I got here I haven’t seen one friggin beer machine. Apparently I am not going crazy though, and there’s actually a reason I can’t find any (they got banned). But, with all the 24hr convenience stores around, it’s not like beer is going to be hard to find.

7) This is heaven for all otaku and coming here will fulfill all your dreams and such (Weeaboos). Believe it or not, there are more pro golf shops here than places to get anime or manga. Tokyo, along with the rest of Japan, is no place for your self-diagnosed Asperser "cant behave properly in public" bullshit loud talking, disheveled dressing, free-hug self expression, of your individual individuality. The shit you see characters do in anime do that kind of thing specifically because it’s a work of FICTION. In the real world, that kind of behavior is not what you do, especially here in Japan. Do it in public here, and some public safety officer will actually come up and tell you to knock it the hell off.

8)You thought this list was actually going to have 10 items. I never said this was a top ten list.


-

Life in the Bubble: Axis of Ignorance

No time slot. Not yours.

While by no means the first manga creation to anthropomorphize political states as cute characters that do cute things, Axis Powers: Hetalia (the graphic says "powers" but some people are calling "powered"?) was popular enough to get someone to pay for an animated series. It should come as no surprise that this is not going to get aired on TV. When Japan’s neighbors throw a (deservedly justifiable) fit over a state visit to the Yasakuni Shrine, I doubt a cartoon series that makes the Rape of Nanking and Kamikaze attacks look like schoolyard shenanigans is going to go over well in the international community. Therein lies the focal point of this conundrum. In the great collective memory of Japanese history, these things didn’t happen. Studying there I found the academic history to be so whitewashed that even among college students, “Kamikaze” only congers up images of an invading Mongol army being swept out to sea off of Kyushu in the thirteenth century.

This unintentional ignorance of historical matters goes a long way to explain why a writer of a modern manga might be oblivious to certain international sensitivities when it comes to portraying 20th century events. It is not for this reason that the show shouldn’t be made, but only that we shouldn’t be surprised if places like Korea and China (where most anime is actually made) have negative reactions to an anime which, by no stretch at all, serves to reinforce an “accidental revisionism.”

This Japanese “culture bubble” is why Japanese pizzerias think canned corn is a widely used pizza topping in the U.S., why whale-burgers are still on the lunch menu, and why no one thought a TV show called Axis Poweres would create any kind of backlash (or maybe they did since the time slot was going to be late night). This not a program created by some right-wing group with some sort of revisionist agenda out to glorify one state or another. If anything, one could argue that the personification of Japan as the quiet weird one who probably tortures animals at home and one day will shoot up the school if Russia doesn’t give Saklin back, is at the deep end of offensive. But that self deprecation is not enough to get a pass in the commercial arena, and I don’t think it should be. Now, I want to see this show, and I would not want it canceled or production halted, but this is one of those occasions where the “culture bubble” has affected the end product to a point where it might be incompatible with an international notion of an acceptable way to treat 20th century history. Also, why does Lichtenstein have a character… seriously?

Japan’s exports are historically good at avoiding the taint that the culture bubble can give things (all exports have to otherwise no one is going to buy enough of them). Cars, electronics, earth-moving equipment, kitchen knives, have all been made in such a way so that their universality overshadows the unique aspects of their origins. This is also true for most internationally successful anime and manga. They have a universal quality to them which exists in things like character design, story type, and unspoken communication of emotion. Character designs are often made, or at least perceived, in such a way as to deemphasize depictions of ethnicity so that the relation to the characters by the audience is almost immediate (ie they don’t have to look a certain way to make the story believable).

It would seem that Hetalia: Axis Poweres has tipped ever so slightly over the side of that line so as to lessen the universal quality by being perceived a bit too sympathetic to the one true Axis of Evil if ever there was one. Case in point, people in the U.S. would expect France to be the one with all the white surrender flags and not necessarily Italy, but from the perspective of the Axis powers, it would make perfect sense thanks to wacky Victor Emmanuel III (look it up if you don’t know, I’m not history channel). If the intentions behind this series were strongly and intentionally political, then it might almost be easier to accept the series as just some product of right wing thinking and therefore marginalized.

Is this an instance of oversensitivity of fragile sensibilities stifling a truly creative work on the grounds of PC-ness and an example of collective bullying against free expression? Probably, but free expression with this material rarely translates to good business and as mini-mouse once said, “animation’s expensive.”

Props to Erin of the Ninja Consultants for the idea that Israel and Palestine should be conjoined twins forced to share the same desk.

Everyone is talking about BubbleGum Crisiseseses

BubbleGum Crisis Trifecta Now Complete,
- or -
Why BGC 2040 should only be watched in an academic setting with the sound off.

It's the future... but there's still no cure for Priss's mechanophilia.

Remember when I mentioned trends in Japanese Sociology and three possibilities that may be what the country chooses to rely on as a whole? Remember those three and how two of them seemed reasonable and the other one seemed like one that was really out there? Yeah, well they’re going with the robots anyway. This raised a point which has a sort of universal relevance throughout almost all segments of humanity not just Japan or Asia. What I speak of is the ability of the individual/collective mind to de-sensitize itself to the common sense notions of the ridicularity of an impractical concept or thing, if that said concept or thing is one that helps to maintain a social or ideological status quo. …did you get that? (I know ridicularity is not a word).

Nowhere is this more observable than in religious circles, where creationists come up with the most astonishing ideas about dinosaur bones and 2million year old light from Andromeda in order to maintain their pre-existing belief that your eternal soul needs saving by a ancient zombie jew if you eat his flesh and drink his blood because 6,000 years ago when the world popped out of nothing, a rib-woman was tricked into eating a magical fruit by a talking snake… with legs. Now that’s an extreme example but well exemplifies why there is so much of this kind of thinking going on. Over in Japan this news story is an example of life imitating art, a view of a life where Boomers and Cyborgs are a legitimate and feasible strategy for society to go on (anything to keep the Gaijin out) and the elevator girls still bowing to you while you go up to the top floor of Seibu looking for socks or whatever... but they’ll be robots now. Popular culture as reflected in manga and anime is very much steeped in the acceptance of borderline sci-fi absurdities in forwarding idea of preserving Japanese societal norms in an unchanging manner. In anime, the notions of a future where mechanical people Japanese people walking around doing all kinds of stuff is painted as a totally inevitability, but a Gaijin walking down the street in 2040 will still be weird. Now, it doesn’t take someone with a PhD in social sciences to realize that the actual future will probably end up being the opposite of that. But that’s not gonna stop this from getting pushed to the limit. This notion, that in the future Japan will stay as culturally and ethnically isolated as it is, and simply turn into Japan + Robots is so imbedded in cultural sensibilities that any anime or manga that is set in the future which does not include some manifestation of this, is thought of as an anomaly. It is such a hallmark of Otaku culture, that non-Japanese manga inspired works (web-comic Mega Tokyo is an example) include such manifestations as obligatory.

Now from the perspective of a country like the United States, this seems illogical and a long-shot wasteful use of resources at best. The USA comes from a very different perspective, one where a large scale immigration lead to developmental success and anti-immigration notions are usually the losers in the gladiatorial arena of popular politics. So it’s easy for someone from such a perspective to stand behind this Japanese path and mumble “it’s not gonna wooooork” as time goes on and things get outta hand. Of course that sentiment is scoffed at, not based on the merits or chance of success, but rather an almost religious notion that the alternatives are simply not acceptable because they violate many basic sensibilities of the status quo.

This exists in an even more proto-form in the world of fandom, where all kinds of notions and wishful things are superimposed on to commercial art and writings all over the place.
I once went on a 21 minute trolling crusade on youtube, commenting on every AMV I could find which used a song wrongly attributed to Weird Al Yankovic. Not only was I amazed on how many I could find (What if God Smoked Cannabis, Fart Will Go On, Toast, Ugly Girl, …all kinds of crap), but I was then further amazed at some of the responses that sought to rebuke the reality and assert that they were Weird Al songs. Things like “Oh he didn’t sing it but he wrote it” or “Someone else originally did it but this is Weird Al’s version” and the best “well Limewire labeled it as Weird Al so there.” Now these people want to be right so much, that they are blind to how ridiculous those claims are when you think about them. Now I could go on and on about the origins of this phenomenon (it has to do with how Napster worked) but this isn’t the “Angry weird Al fan blog.”

So everyone is talking about BGC from the “it’s not gonna wooooork” vantage point, and we can laugh at a Japan of 2040 where a mecha-maid serving you coffee with visible cleavage for you to ogle without negative repercussion is common every day scenery, but a gaijin walking into MosBurger is still worthy of stopping in your tracks and gawking. Yes this is going to be a reality. So is Bubble Gum Crisis and its atrocious re-incarnation BGC 2040 and anything else with crazy Japanese robots some sort of propaganda for the new world order of automation and negative population? No, that would be stupid, and the amount of old people wasn’t made apparent. This is an example of how cultural sensibilities are adapting to indigenous and external environmental factors in a changing world. Sensational news stories aside, the path of least resistance to this problem is so only to an outside observer, and the most desirable from the Japanese perspective will continue move forward with great entertainment for the rest of the world to see nothing else.

To address the flaws in the argument that annoying otaku are gonna bring up (this will only address issues from the original BGC and not BGC2040 because I just can’t watch all of that):

- Oh but the AD Police Chief is like such a Gaijin and he’s the Captain so he rose so high and so there must be plenty more out there in the future society.
No. BGC is just as much a product of Blade Runner and other American movies as Gunsmith Cats is related to Blues Brothers and The Fugitive. He’s thrown in there for effect.
- But Nene’s name is Romanova, and the original BGC is Full of Gaijin like it's nothing.
Are you kidding? Look at Nene. LOOK at NENE, she’s the embodiment of the Japanese O.L. and if you think the audience is seeing anything other than that when they rate her the #2 top female AIC character of all time, then you need to read more (or you’re in middle school). This also applies to every other non-traditional Japanese name in this thing, Priss, Lina, Samuel MacCoy, Brian J Mason, Silvy, you want me to keep going? With that logic EVERYONE in Mega Tokyo is an import. I’m pretty sure that even IF that was the writers intention, it’s been lost on the audience.
- But in BGC 2040 blah blah blah...
How can you ask a question about an anime that doesn’t exist?

Japanese Robot Secretary.
She doesn't rike you.

In the Criminal Justice System... The Case of Christopher Handley

Wake me up when we get to part seven: The case of Christopher Handley.

Having the last name of “Handley” is now the least of this guys worries. Most people out there who would read this are probably aware of the news story developing around this guy. In a shaven nut shell this guy is on the hook for some serious felony charges which stem from obscenity laws which live in a constitutional grey area you could hide a GITMO/Abu Ghraib phone tapping kegger in.

Section 504 of the PROTECT Act, which is where the original charges come from, criminalizes the possession and distribution of "a visual depiction of any kind, including a drawing, cartoon, sculpture, or painting," that —

(Summary)

Is obscene

or

depicts a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; …

lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.

Now there is a pile of precedence in terms of getting things like this tossed going back to Larry Flint, but all those were a 1 part equation, where as this case is a 2 parter. Now for the even more concerning part of this, is that the legal precedence on the other side of this one, is very much against our Mr. Handley here. That other side, is of course the “depicts a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct” wording in this law. Dwight Whorley (man these guys have the worst last names for this kind of thing) is doing hard time right now because he was in possession of drawn images which a federal appeals court decided were illegal. This court upheld his conviction, against the defense that no images found in his possession and part of the case were of actual people -minor or otherwise, and therefore protected speech no different from a written novel which would describe the same imagery. It didn’t work and he lost.

I would like to see this case will take a fast track to the Supreme Court on the back of the CBLDF and throw the constitutional protection of images, the production of which involves no actual people (as opposed to photography). Under the Protect Act, this could be interpreted as being obscene (over the years I am sure someone’s fapped to that), and the only line between whether you do or don’t get prosecuted for having it is who happens to be doing the prosecuting. Herein are the constitutional issues of what is “obscene” and can an artistic representation of something legally considered obscene also therefore be legally obscene due to the subject matter.

This is one of those rare times when the cold sobering hands real life smack fandom issues down to the level we see when held against the perspective of larger issues. It shows how ridiculous the little net dramah fits that happen on some fanfic website or live journal when someone does something or whatever. This obscenity back and forth is nothing new, and its just making the rounds to manga at this point. What’s new to the mix is that this is coming from a source outside the U.S. both in a literal and cultural sense, whereas most of these past instances are domestically produced pieces that are made by the artist with the express purpose of pushing the current boundaries of what is considered “profane” at the time. I think that fact will unfortunately weaken this case.

Now obviously if the search ended up turning up anything bulletproof and uber cut and dry when it comes to obscenity statute violating images, this guy would be either taking a plea right now or at least not having the CBLDF jumping into this one (that might even be out of ACLU territory). But it didn’t turn up, and now a prosecuting attorney has to convince a panel of judges that an artistic rendering of something is as bad as that thing itself… as if a drawing of a kitten in a blender is exactly the same as committing the act itself (actually possessing a video of that actual event in and of itself, with no other connection to that event, would be criminal if an obstruction charge could be made to stick because you "didn't turn it in"). Now these are some disturbing images, and court documents describe some of them as:

depicted graphic bestiality, including sexual intercourse, between human beings and animals such as pigs, monkeys, and others.

I hate "skunk fuckers," but this guy was having this crap delivered to his private home and wasn’t running around a furry convention shoving it in people’s faces. I think the fact that this guy is now feeling more buyer’s remorse than every Zune owner on earth times a million is honestly punishment enough.

Legally, this case might have a few points where a defense could get this guy off the hook without having to set constitutional precedence. There could be 4^th amendment issues regarding the warrant being issues based on something not done 100% by the book by a postal inspector (I watch too much Law & Order). That won’t work but I am sure they’ve gone through the motions… literally.

Startlingly, there are people in the medical profession who would recommend allowing this guy access to these fictitious depictions of what most of us find abhorrent. The fact that this person went very much out of their way to track down a source for this material and then pay to have it shipped half way around the world, simply takes the argument that being exposed to this material causes abhorrent behavior and blows it out of the water. It’s not like he was a normal guy walking down the street and this shit just landed on his head, he went out of his way to look for precisely this. The recommendations of some medical professionals stem from the fact that if a person like this doesn’t get their fix in that harmless manner, they will seek it out in another form… maybe down at your kid’s schoolyard. Think about that. In May of 2005 this concept was thrown into the spotlight when the Attorney General of New York (the hooker-banging Eliot Spitzer of all people) campaigned for the end of Medicaid funding for Viagra prescriptions for sex offenders. There were a number of dissenting opinions.

That dissent was an uphill struggle to say the least, and I must say that what your Mr. Handley’s is facing a similarly uphill struggle (not the least of which is finding someone who would want to be in the same room with a guy who pops a boner to this kind of thing). This case is simply not one where an obscenity law can be challenged because of the vague wording behind it, as that’s already been tossed and now we're dealing with the strictly worded part. This is a case in which a that very unambiguously worded part of a law, namely the one that mentions specific depictions of specific criteria, must be challenged by the defense on the basis of constitutional protection under the 1^st amendment of art or artificially created non-photographic images. The defense is going to have to argue that simply possessing (not producing, that's not what he's on trial for) an artistic representation of something that is illegal, does not that image illegal make, even though this law unequivocally says so. Not too easy to do when those images are things that, should they have been real, would be criminal to produce distribute and possess. The visible domino effect that this can have from the criminalizing of graphic artificial depictions moving to not so graphic or even implied depictions, to the written word, should be enough to convince a count to keep the government in the real world and out of imagination-land.

Welcome to the slippery slope, it’s always been here, you’re just new.

=

BCI Eclipse and the Inevitable.

"Be water my friend."

Formerly known as Brentwood, the Navarre-owned BCI label is being shut down as, according to CEO Cary Deacon, its “operations have been unprofitable for the past two years.” There’s a lot of news out there already about this story, so I will not go into much of a rehashing of the general history regarding this development and simply dive right in to the commentary.


For someone who has been in this business as long as I have, to look at “unprofitable operations” for two years begs the question of just what the hell kind of operations were they running to begin with. The answer is an obvious extrapolation we can make from the outcome, they were home media operations and nothing else.

Marital arts libraries in particular tend to be full of titles that, even when bundled together in groups of up to 10 for the price of one, just don’t sell. Also, if you are getting licenses from Toby Russell there are all kinds of other things you may want to worry about (the guy George Tan was working with before Toby, went and got himself cut in half for playing musical licenses with a movie made by a certain group of film aficionados called the Triads).


Moving back to the point at hand, although this may only be compared to the fall of Geneon in America in a bit of an abstract way, the final realization that playing follow the leader with a blind person in front has brought you to a “cut your losses” moment, falls into that general category of business shenanigans. This was a case of a Hollywood mentality being applies to a New York business model, and that’s always a recipe for companies following suit of some “ground breaking” market freeze-frame, without any model which will guarantee continued profits via contingency if the primary goal proves unsustainable. Has the same happened with anime, yes. Will the results be the same… not really. Modern martial arts productions are not really going to slow down. They have a big domestic market (an increasingly media-friendly China), cost very little to produce, and do not depend on international licensing for putting gas in the tank.


The demise of this entity is yet another example of opportunity lost when it comes to older niche material which has exhausted a single product lifecycle (DVD/Home media in this case), but exists in a large library owned by a company with some substantial resources. Unlike many other products, entertainment media need not simply become a drag on resources once it has had its turn as a home media product which fails to cover its own costs (especially this classic martial arts stuff)… There is light at the end of that tunnel and that is where having the right licenses comes in. As I am currently actually involved in such project, I won’t be going into detail of what should be done, because that concept is worth money and is proprietary (to me). Sufficed to say that it doesn’t take a vast array of licenses to produce a vast array of commercially viable material. If you want me to come in and save your assets and make them profitable now without having to lay out much new capital, then let me know, there’s a little piece of paper in the Library of Congress that says I own the way to do it.


"Running water never grows stale, so keep on flowing."
-Bruce Lee

The Meme-ing of American Entertainment

You don’t have to make sense to make dollars.

The universe in which an otaku lives is often one of a perceived righteous insulation from the “Americrap” entertainment which makes the Japanese entertainment media look so appealing. There is a stage that every otaku either passes though or becomes permanently stuck in, which has a basic premise of “Japanese manga and anime are the better than anything else, so I don’t need to pay attention to American anything because it’s all crap.” This was once a sustainable idea, in that in no way were the two markets ever going to significantly interact with each other, however for about a decade that has not been the case.

The problem… one of the problems… one of the many problems in the process in which the previously stated otaku isolationist sentiment is being made an impossibility, is that the domestic market always seems to have just the right elements to bring the most unredeeming elements of each entertainment methodology together in massive commercial endeavors. The specific element that is having a particularly noticeable effect is the 2 second attention span.

Now the quick non-substintive way of deciding what to make a movie/TV series/toy line/etc by looking at a presentation package for 24 seconds and then making some sort of decision whilst uttering le catch phrase du jour is nothing new. What is new is that this laser beam of unintelligent arbitration of creative commercial entertainment is now slicing straight through that otaku bubble of insulation mentioned previously. We have now the evidence that this beam has simply increased in strength, in this ghastly piece of gloriously expensive reptilian anal spew:



It’s important to point out that Chow Yun-Fat is and shall forever be awesome. However like anyone involved in the actual filming of this impending crapfest, he was simply a person paid to do a job and anyone in this group can not be held responsible for this cinematic post-natal abortion. The responsibility is that of the executive producers and investors that greenlight this very idea. Caught up in the moment of flashy 1 minute sizzle videos of Aeon Flux, Speed Racer, or any other animation made Hollywood live action, the frenzy picked up Dragonball too. That frenzy was unabashedly unconcerned with anime, continuity, originality, or anything else that would be associated with cinematic integrity. No, all they were concerned about, and all they had time for before putting down millions of dollars to make a major motion picture, was “the energy” of the title, and there’s a word we can use for that; meme.

Like the Speed Racer production, this film will be generally regarded as a failure. It will probably be a financial failure for the cinema operaters (not the studios) and is already an artistic failure. However there is hardly an American now who has not gotten the message loud and clear that failure is often rewarded and is by no means an impediment to financial gain and the ability to further replicate such monuments to failure. The smug satisfaction that an anime fan can take in the failure of this film is quickly evaporated in the knowledge that every Hollywood adaptation of an anime have all been abysmal failures, and none of those will make a dent in the momentum of further efforts in the same vein. Hollywood will not save itself.

Working in show business makes an atheist out of you very quickly when confronted with things like this:

This is real. There is no god.

Land of the Fee and the Home of the Gray:

They Graying of Japan.

This should scare you:

So there is this guy who is a vocal part of a podcast that I went and listened to (yeah Daryl I’m talking about you) and one of their past episodes touched on the graying problem that Japan still seems to be in the midst of both experiencing and ignoring. For those readers that don’t know what that above term encompasses, here is a basic look down that particular black hole of doom:

Location Japan; as early as the 1980’s sociologists began to realize there was a declining birthrate amongst Japanese citizens of child bearing age/capacity/whatever you wanna call it. The teenage wasteland became noticeable to the news-media and thusly the general public over the 1990’s so that by 2000 it appeared as a giant freight train only a decade or two away from smashing headlong into every aspect of society. Japan’s unique 20^th century history and cultural indifference/economic proclivity to contraception also explains why, unlike countries like India or China, there has been no upward population explosion in a straight line that comes with ample food, availability of health care, and fan-service.

Throw together a baby boom and combine that with a rapid increase in life expectancy (no hydrogenated oil or hfcs over there) and you’ve got two thirds of the perfect storm. The other third is simple to state and complicated to explain and that is simply that a disproportionate number of Japanese women, Don’t. Want. Kids. Find one who feels that way and she’ll give you a whole bunch of reasons why, from the staggering cost of what it takes to raise a family over there, to simply that they would rather not get stretch-marks or even that they find the Japanese approach to sex rather off-putting (that last one is a whole post in itself but let’s just say that if you censor your porn and make crying during sex look like the norm… people are gonna end up confused). This aversion to reproducing is exacerbated by the fact that there is a small reverse immigration where professionally minded women are leaving that country and never coming back. The prospect of having to feed little juniour and grandma out of the same jar of mashed peas every night is not something they relish.

So now we have pensioners starting to overload the tax base, shortages of a work force for manufacturing, financial services, and public service, and a private sector which is looking at an aging consumer base. It is that private sector area which you anime fans should worry about. Anime is made by and bought by the private sector, and much as people still may not want to acknowledge it, anime is a youth product, and its domestic market is literally running out of youths. Anime productions and the things advertised on it are being outsourced to China not just because it’s cheaper but because there are workers there. Japanese universities are "going out of business" due to lack of students. A few more years it’s going to be dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!

The graying of Japan will have an effect on anime and manga, end of story. How much anime is made, who it is made for, and how it is delivered (talking manga for those who can’t read small print anymore?). The current political administration in Tokyo has publicly stated it views anime and manga as a potentially valuable export - and as whenever the Japanese government likes something they tend to give it subsidies. That may mean producers could start seriously working on world-wide releases, delivering their animated media to global markets all at once. Either way, anime will change and for the first time it looks like the climate of the rest of the world will have an active and direct role in changing it.

The effects of the Japanese aging problem on the private sector was my economic thesis for my undergraduate work almost a decade ago and what was true then is true now; buy pharmaceutical stock on the Nikkei. For those with a netflix account I would recommend Katsuhiro Otomo’s Roujin Z (already over a decade old) as an interesting look into how popular culture was already handling this impending issue. Although this film unfortunately débuted in the U.S. when most of the audience was expecting “Akira part 2,” (I must have been the only one in the theater that thought it was interesting) anyone familiar with the way Otomo works will recognize the continued saturation of Japanese social issues poured over menacingly futuristic technology.

Unfortunately the available solutions seem to remain the same as well:

1) Waves of immigration (Japanese xenophobia a go go).
2) Massive amounts of young people fucking (picture unavailable) along with equally massive tax breaks and housing benefits for couples with children.
3) Robots… hey, why do you think they’re working on them so hard?

Yes Japanophiles, there may come a time where they will really want you to come live over there and pay them your taxes. But remember even if you live there for the rest of your life, it will only be your great grandchildren who will be eligible for citizenship.

Mission Accomplished.

So as we continue to move into the future, I shall be physically moving someplace else. Now I know there are not many places in the world that would be on par or a step up from New York, and as such that is not something this piece will focus on since where I am going is on par with New York. So beginning in 2009 I shall once again be living half a world away, this time in Tokyo.

As I have mentioned previously, living in Japan is not like being in some 24 hour anime convention anime-otaku promised land that weebos make it out to be. In fact the one major negative thing I have to say about Mega Tokyo would be that deluded readers tend to think of it as a documentary rather than fantasy written about a place the author knows sadly little about. However there is something to be said for being closer to the source as it were, and I do plan on taking as full advantage as possible personally and professionally. The future of anime and manga might just be brightening as the new Prime Minister continues to laud it as a viable economic force for the country, and being on the ground where government involvement might happen will hopefully open up serious opportunities.

But back to daily life for a moment, I thought I'd list things that one could be happy about going to Japan for:

Things I won't miss:
SUVs and the people who think they need to drive them.
Daylight Savings Time
High Fructose Corn Syrup (yes I DO know what they say about it, and it's
all bad).
NYPD
The Wal-Mart Waddle (you know it when you see it)
Vegans
Fox News
Daryl Surat

Things I will miss:
Cheese
The Mets
A Subway you can ride at 2am
The Daily Show & Colbert Report
Uncensored porn
DVDs costing less than $30
Otakon (I might come back for that tho).

So yes friends and reader (I think there’s only one) I will soon be updating this blog from the land of the rising sun, and hopefully more frequently as well.

So until the I plan to be on the long road to being back on the ball with things. Based on what I’ve been doing the past year, that’s not going to be easy, but hey that’s life.

It's the Economy Baka,

When Akira goes from Dystopian to Utopian.


Now that the sky is falling, is the very way of life for the new century otaku going to fade away like SUVs, air travel, and free trips to the salad bar? Anime has already made the irreversible step from niche export to global entertainment media, and as such its fate is tied to the health of global markets in general as a source of financing, and as a means of sustaining healthy consumer sales (sagging economy means people buy less).

The world has seen for a while now that the health of entire economies and not just industry specific issues is what will affect the ability of anime, manga, and the culture that goes with it, to continue as a commercial product. Something it must do in order to survive at all. So let's look at Japan's situation, which can be summed up in the immortal words of Generation X's own answer to Winnie the Poo, Peter Griffin; "Had better days Lois... Had better days."

The Japanese economy has been acting strangely ever since NOVA hit an iceberg (of their own making) and went down hard, followed by political shenanigans, and now we have a NOVA repeat with academic services provider Gateway 21 having to announce this past Sunday they were "broke." For those not in the know, they ceased operations after running 12.9 Billion Yen in now unrecoverable debt. 12.9 Billion Yen from young students paying for study abroad courses which they will now never get to attend, nor will they get that money back. This is a minor news story to most of the world but a little inside info is that the Gateway domino might just knock over larger firms such as Education Japan Corp. This sector toppling over with Enronian results to customers and investors may not hurt the Japanese anime/media/entertainment industry directly, but at this point the impact on the National economy is enough to make just about everyone except sake brewers and Cup o' Noodles nervous.

With America's core anime market dependant on mommy and daddy's money than their own a sagging economy means less direct purchasing power as well as less of an ability to purchase products from advertisers which keep anime on the air, where it needs to be in order to sustain itself.

Evolution doesn’t happen when things are going great, but rather when drastic changes in the environment make adaptation necessary or face the consequence of extinction. The adaptation that seems to be the nicest looking right now is simultaneous global delivery, the only way in which the consortium of companies attached to just about any anime project can pool their resources and actually earn revenue from the true size of their audience.

For most of the past year, this is where the story has ended. From the conspicuous absence of ADV from the New York Anime Festival (if they don't show up to A-KON, stick a fork in them) to the sucking sound that is Japanese anime production and 4 Kids taking their money elsewhere, there seemed to be no real hope of making things happen other than the fact that the few remaining players in the Japan-US field had found a way to minimize the down time and shave a few points off of sales and meager licensing. Add to the mix that shows like VSDA and LIMA are dinosaurs living out their last dying days in Las Vegas, and there was very little hope for the future. Until recently.

Current Japanese Prime Minister Aso has on more than one occasion publicly stated that his government is looking at Japanese IP with an emphasis on Manga Anime and Video Games as a global export which can bolster the Japanese economy. As soon as a delivery system comes across the table that works with the same kind of security as Komatsu gets for heavy machinery (ie you get actual revenue from global markets instead of fansubs taking money away from potential earnings by making advertizing guarantees worthless).


So yes anime fans it seems like what we want and consume, otaku culture itself is getting a v.i.p. trip to the front of the government subsidy line in the land of the rising sun. If by some miracle, the right kind of person steps up and uses that to create a new media delivery infrastructure and not simply prop up a failing antiquated system, we are looking at a new golden age born out of the greatest economic flux in almost a century.


-TAO